My temples begin to throb and I
can feel the panic rising in my
throat, as I sit in the classroom. The minutes tick by and I
still don't know what he's talking about. I look around the
class
and everyone else seems calm. It's just me.
I rifle through my scribbled notes, race through sections of his
handout, and burn holes through the diagram in the book. No
help;
I'm getting more lost and desperate. Heart pounding, my thoughts
go NASCAR. I don't need this crap. It's Saturday and I should be
with my family; or giving a lecture; not sitting in the back of
the room. I feel stupid, out of control, and childish. A trickle
of sweat runs down my back and finds my underwear. Great.
As we age, hopefully we feel more mature. We gain wisdom from
our experiences with the memories of decade's worth of success
and failure to guide our decisions. We become a little less
freaked
out by what other people think; a little more comfortable doing
it our way. We settle into the familiar rhythms of our lives. If
married with kids, we can view the drama and machinations of
young, single adults with a mixture of amusement and
condescension. And some of this sense of superiority is
completely illusory.
The truth is that most of us are
simply a divorce or spousal
death away from that same drama. The rhythms of daily hassle
become the glaze over life's uncertain, rough spots. Simple
experience and the passage of time don't necessarily make us
wiser or healthier. Just older.
I started a post doctoral Master's of Science in
Psychopharmacology last month and until spring we're studying
biochemistry. I haven't taken a class like this in over 20 years
and I am stunned to feel the same old angst, confusion, and
panic
that I did back then. The difference is that back then, I had
more energy, more time, and more motivation. I was kind of used
to feeling confused and panicky.
In our childhood, teens, and 20s we are constantly confronted
with novel experiences and brand new learning. We're reaching
out, stretching the envelope, testing the boundaries. The
challenge of uncertainty is around every corner; we still
believe
in our dreams.
As we progress through adulthood, we orient ourselves toward the
familiar. Increasingly, we unconsciously avoid novel situations
that challenge or frighten us. The simple tasks of living take
up
more and more of our time. Formal, effortful learning becomes an
ever more distant memory. This really means that proactive,
self-
guided, healthy change becomes less and less likely. More of our
time is spent passively responding to our environment rather
than
actively remaking it.
To age healthily, the most important thing you can do is to not
smoke cigarettes or drink too much alcohol. The second thing is
to exercise regularly. The third is to keep learning. Research
has shown that our brains tend to shrink and our cognitive
function to decline as we age. The hardware of experience lies
in
the nerve cells of the brain.
Over time, brain cells decay and network connections are broken.
But, every time you learn something, a new connection, a new
pathway is formed in the network of your brain. Some researchers
believe that learning in older adulthood is the most important
element in avoiding dementia or Alzheimer's disease. A learning
brain is replacing decaying neurons and broken memory
connections
with new ones, healthier ones. It's better than Botox.
You should be pushing the envelope and testing the boundaries
throughout your life. On page 30 of my book, Stepping Stones:
Ten
Steps..., I discussed the Mastery Map, a hierarchical list of
challenging, scary things that would be good for you if you did
them.
On that list should be simple learning:
- Sign up for a class.
- Find a new hobby.
- Subscribe to a magazine outside of your comfort zone.
- Go to a museum, exhibit, or planetarium.
- Look through the adult education catalogs you get in the mail.
- Read the weekend, calendar section of the paper for coming
events.
- Splash cold water on your face and stomp the feeling back into
your brain.
- Give yourself permission to wonder, to experience fear and awe
again.
Do you remember why the sky is blue?
It is 6:30 a.m. Sunday morning and I just found out via e-mail
that I passed my first biochemistry test. The rusted, creaking
machinery of my brain feels a little better oiled. Maybe the
next
time you or I challenge ourselves and feel that surge of fear
rising, we'll know. I'm old enough to have purpose; and young
enough to feel passion.
Good morning and good light,
Dr. Tim Sams
My Sacred Journey
http://www.mysacredjourney.com
Copyright 2004. Dr. Tim Sams. All rights reserved.
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